Comments on: It’s just emotion that’s taken me over … Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/296/its-just-emotion-thats-taken-me-over-%e2%80%a6-tied-up-in-sorrow-lost-in-my-soul/ Nonprofit Fundraising and Grantwriting for the One-Person Shop Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:07:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Tweets that mention Storytelling in Your Grant Proposal | Pamela Grow's Grantwriting Blog -- Topsy.com http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/296/its-just-emotion-thats-taken-me-over-%e2%80%a6-tied-up-in-sorrow-lost-in-my-soul/comment-page-1/#comment-505 Tweets that mention Storytelling in Your Grant Proposal | Pamela Grow's Grantwriting Blog -- Topsy.com Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:33:24 +0000 http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/?p=296#comment-505 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pamela Grow, Chelsea Dunn. Chelsea Dunn said: RT @PamelaGrow: Are you remembering storytelling in your grant proposals? http://dld.bz/kPfR #fundraising [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pamela Grow, Chelsea Dunn. Chelsea Dunn said: RT @PamelaGrow: Are you remembering storytelling in your grant proposals? http://dld.bz/kPfR #fundraising [...]

]]> By: Pamela Grow http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/296/its-just-emotion-thats-taken-me-over-%e2%80%a6-tied-up-in-sorrow-lost-in-my-soul/comment-page-1/#comment-96 Pamela Grow Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:37:32 +0000 http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/?p=296#comment-96 Great post Matthew and I wholeheartedly agree. My general modus operandi when drafting a standard grant proposal is to review all of the hard numbers first - 46% of our kids will be the first in their families to graduate from college - and use storytelling to complement those statistics. In the case of ABC Charity, I would certainly tell the story of one of those homebound seniors, and what that hot meal means to him/her. I'll never forgot reading over a proposal with the vice president of programming from the foundation I worked for for 6 years, finding a truly outstanding mission, everything in keeping with the grant application guidelines, etc., and the VP remarking "it's a good proposal but it's not very compelling, is it?" Emotion and storytelling really make a good proposal great. Great post Matthew and I wholeheartedly agree. My general modus operandi when drafting a standard grant proposal is to review all of the hard numbers first – 46% of our kids will be the first in their families to graduate from college – and use storytelling to complement those statistics. In the case of ABC Charity, I would certainly tell the story of one of those homebound seniors, and what that hot meal means to him/her.

I’ll never forgot reading over a proposal with the vice president of programming from the foundation I worked for for 6 years, finding a truly outstanding mission, everything in keeping with the grant application guidelines, etc., and the VP remarking “it’s a good proposal but it’s not very compelling, is it?”

Emotion and storytelling really make a good proposal great.

]]> By: Matthew Bregman http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/296/its-just-emotion-thats-taken-me-over-%e2%80%a6-tied-up-in-sorrow-lost-in-my-soul/comment-page-1/#comment-95 Matthew Bregman Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:13:54 +0000 http://www.pamelasgrantwritingblog.com/?p=296#comment-95 Without a doubt, proposal language should be fresh and vivid - if we're bored with our work, then we won't inspire anyone. But I'd caution neophyte fundraisers from trying to win over funders with the same kind of heart rending appeals common in direct mail. Why? Because foundation funders are already committed to providing funds to nonprofit organizations -- and if they are considering your request, they probably are already interested in your cause. Unlike the direct mail donor at the recycling bin, they probably don’t need to be convinced that the problem is a problem. The question is: will you do a good job of addressing that problem? One other thought: perhaps the worst way to communicate passion is to overload your prose with adjectives and boasts. I maintain that “ABC Charity provides hot meals to 100 homebound seniors every day” is a more effective sentence than: “A unique resource for our community, energetically changing the world one person at a time, ABC Charity provides delicious and nutritious meals each and every day, rain or shine, to impoverished homebound seniors who often welcome these meals with effusive gratitude, as it not only fills their stomachs but provides them with a vital sense of human connection as well.” What do others think? Without a doubt, proposal language should be fresh and vivid – if we’re bored with our work, then we won’t inspire anyone. But I’d caution neophyte fundraisers from trying to win over funders with the same kind of heart rending appeals common in direct mail.

Why? Because foundation funders are already committed to providing funds to nonprofit organizations — and if they are considering your request, they probably are already interested in your cause. Unlike the direct mail donor at the recycling bin, they probably don’t need to be convinced that the problem is a problem. The question is: will you do a good job of addressing that problem?

One other thought: perhaps the worst way to communicate passion is to overload your prose with adjectives and boasts.

I maintain that

“ABC Charity provides hot meals to 100 homebound seniors every day”

is a more effective sentence than:

“A unique resource for our community, energetically changing the world one person at a time, ABC Charity provides delicious and nutritious meals each and every day, rain or shine, to impoverished homebound seniors who often welcome these meals with effusive gratitude, as it not only fills their stomachs but provides them with a vital sense of human connection as well.”

What do others think?

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